Nzayirwanda Jean De Dieu is a father of 4 children, with one wife. They are from one of the marginalized group of people known as “Abasigajwe inyuma n’amateka”, loosely translated as “those held back by history”, used to be called “Abatwa”. He is an active member of Abanyamahoro group, a space for peace formed through the societal healing program of Never Again Rwanda in Nyabihu District.
“Before joining the space for peace, I was quite wounded due to the way people used to treat us; they believed that Batwa are not as human as others, and were very suspicious of us. For example during weddings, when a Mutwa person arrived, they would serve him separately as a way of trying to isolate him from others, and would store the dishes he used away from the rest. People were not friendly to us. They would never greet us when we met in public places. However, today things have changed, we talk, we share food, and they call us their friends, things are better.”
Joining the space has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life because it changed my beliefs, restored me and helped me see people as friends and not as threats. I can now say I live in harmony with my neighbors.
What changed my mind the most in the space was the sharing experience. Joining the group was also a good decision because members of my group were never disrespectful towards one another or me. Everyone was friendly and cooperative and this helped me gain trust and self-confidence, which is why I took time to teach my neighbors what I learnt in the space in hopes that the messages of peace would transform their lives as they did mine. The space helped me share my wounds, and listen to the wounds of others hence begin healing since I realized I was not the only wounded person.”
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Nzayirwanda’s wife, Ndamfura Jeanne, says that when her husband joined Abanyamahoro group, he changed his attitude which impacted the whole family positively.
“Before my husband joined the team, we wouldn’t listen to anything he told us, or we always thought that he was lying. He never understood that I needed my free time with my female friends; he used to get angry when he found me with them. These days however, due to his changed behavior, I always believe what he tells me and even share it with our children.”
One day, he came from their usual meetings, and shared with me what they learnt. It was about how in the ancient times, there was a high level of discrimination. A Hutu, Tutsi and Twa could not share anything. Today however, everything is possible, there is no discrimination based on ethnicity and everyone identifies as a Rwandan.
“As a result of joining the group, my husband knows and fulfills his responsibilities at home. He now leaves money for groceries and household errands, regardless of the amount. This has really helped me a lot because this is something he had never done before.”
He is now very useful to the community because he teaches community members about the importance of peace building and everything they learn in the NAR group. This has motivated us to live in harmony with neighbors and be exemplary to them.
I would like to thank NAR for bringing this important program, because it changed my husband thus changed our whole family in a positive way.